While chatting to a friend at the weekend, I was surprised at their shock when I proclaimed that I no longer always felt particularly attractive.
Outwardly I appear confident, competent, mega busy mum and grandma, but I suffer the same body envy of most mums. I have been breastfeeding on and off since 1994 so the boobs aren’t where they used to be and my stomach bears the tiger stripes of 5 pregnancies. Of course the person I was talking to was bias and told me not to be so silly.
I lost over 30kg after my 9 yr old to enable me to be healthy enough to have another child in my late 30’s. Its interesting that although I am heavier following that happy 5th birth I am fitter and stronger thanks to spinning, cycling and doing weights. In heels I’m over 6ft tall with broad shoulders so no being ‘petite’ for me…ever!
But then I realised most of the attention of other mums I know is geared towards losing weight.
We are bombarded by images of 5 min post birth skinny bodies and flat stomachs.
How we should be exercising as soon as exiting the labour ward. Unhelpful and for most mere mortals without personal trainers and personal chefs is unobtainable.
P!nk and Stacey Soloman have been a couple of celebs to fight back against this tide.
I’ve now stopped weighing myself, am eating sensibly, exercising and I’m beginning to see the realistic results i want.
So how can we protect ourselves from falling foul of these commonly unrealistic targets?
- Realise we are different sizes and shapes and what your friend may look like isn’t what you should or would achieve.
- We are all unique.
- Don’t weigh yourself, it can become a source of fear, panic and self loathing.
- Focus on health rather than weight.
- Social media is just that….media so don’t believe the hype.
- It is all about perception anyway so a bit of re-framing wouldnt go amiss.
- Fat shaming isn’t always a long term method of being at and maintaining the realistic shape you desire.
- Its more important what your attitude to food and life is like after leaving any weight-loss group.
- Harmful attitudes and relationships with nutrition won’t be changed unless you change more than what you put in your mouth.
- Remember that hypno-psychotherapy can be great for clarity, low self esteem and food related issues.
Change yourself, not just what you eat.